You’ve probably made a list of pros and cons of staying and leaving. You’ve thought about this logically for months, probably years. No amount of thinking will get you to clarity. You’ve exhausted yourself thinking, analyzing, assessing. One day you are SURE you want to leave your marriage… the next…doubt and fear creeps in. You’ve been on a vicious cycle of a roller coaster. So has your spouse and affair partner. Everyone is suffering. The level of thought that got you into this mess will never get you out of this mess.  You need another approach. Parts Work is the approach that will help you get out of indecision and confusion and into clarity, peace and making a decision you can commit to: HOW TO GET CLARITY: Explore the Parts of you who keep you stuck in indecision and the cloud of confusion.  The Part who advocates for you to stay in your marriage.  The Part who advocates for you to choose your affair partner.   The Part who doesn’t want to hurt anyone and tends to people-please and just say whatever needs to be said to avoid suffering.  The Part who always worries about everyone else’s needs and self-abandons.  The Part who creates, what I call, the “could have confusion” between between choosing your spouse and your affair partner.  THIS is the Part you want to get really curious about.  Every time you start to feel clear about moving in one direction, THIS Part pipes up to pull you back into uncertainty. When you start to feel clear that you want to leave your spouse and choose your affair partner, this Part says things like…  “But did you really try to make your marriage work? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough? Maybe something could change?” “What about the kids?” “What will your friends, family and co-workers think?”  “What if things with my AP don’t work out? What if this only feels fun and alive because it’s an affair?”  On the other hand, when you start to move towards staying in your marriage, this Part says:  “How long will it take to repair my marriage? Will my spouse ever forgive me?”  “You can’t just abandon this other person you love (your AP) - what if you never get over them and always miss them?” “Will you ever be able to be happy? What if the problems with my spouse never resolve?” …sound familiar?  WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS? Clarity comes when you can separate the voice of your True Self from the chatter and fears of the Parts of you. Clarity doesn’t come from pressure and fear. It comes when you tap into you calm, grounded, regulated Self.  If you are done feeling confused and stuck ping-ponging between staying or leaving your marriage, it’s time to fund the clarity you need   Just imagine finally feeling at peace, living ONE life with ONE person. No more lying, manipulating, or hurting anyone.   No more rehearsing 2 different options, 2 different lives. You trust yourself enough to make a choice and commit to it. This is the clarity people get to when working with me.  I just got off a call with a client who, after 12 years of being uncertain about his marriage, finally made the choice to leave because he saw that walking away was actually the BEST way he could love his wife right now.   What will be the best choice for you? Let’s find out together.  Click the link in my bio to book a call. -Erica #affairs #stayorgo #infidelity #affairrecovery #marriageadvice — TikTok de @thewrighterica