On Monday, I spoke with a Tibetan Buddhist master and he told me that there is a difference between love and attachment. Attachment is when we cling to another person. It’s when we get possessive and we get jealous. It’s when we don’t give them any space. But according to Tulku Lobsang Rinpoche, love is something else entirely. And he argues that there are three different elements to love. First, there is kindness, and kindness is the antidote to anger. But kindness isn’t the same as just being nice to somebody. Rather, it is seeing somebody in the best possible light. If somebody hurts you, kindness doesn’t immediately assume it was on purpose. If somebody makes a mistake, kindness doesn’t assume it was intentional. Second, there is compassion. And compassion is the antidote to attachment, because attachment is what clings to somebody too tightly. It constricts them. But compassion is what gives somebody the space to make mistakes, to be imperfect, and to change — to change into somebody that you might not have expected, or even wanted them to become. And third, there is bodhicitta. Bodhicitta is the antidote to ignorance, because it is ignorance to try to understand the world only from your own point of view. But bodhicitta sees things from another perspective. It sees the world through somebody else’s eyes, according to their needs, and experiences things from their position. So, the question of love actually comes down to three questions: Do I see them in the best possible light? Do I give them enough space? And do I see things from their point of view? Because love is not about desperately clinging to somebody or seeking your own happiness through somebody else. It’s finding your joy in the joy of another. — TikTok @philosophyminis